So while I am ashamed to admit it, these are the slightly jaded views I have had of today’s youth – that was until I was given an amazing reality check when visiting a high school in the small town of Woodland Park, Colorado where the student body came together to make a difference for children with cancer. 

Knowing I would be in Colorado, St Baldrick’s set up a special stop for a token head shaving event where the assistant principal and a few students of a local school would be shaving their heads.  Unfortunately, our travel plans changed, and Colorado had to fall from the SuRVivor Tour schedule.  Regardless, with that being said, I made the 12 hour trip – each way – anyways.  Please do not mistake my sharing this as a means of receiving a pat on the back for my “extraordinary dedication to the cause”.  I say this in order to emphasis the stunning events that transpired, motivating such a drive.

While I may not understand and appreciate the fashions of today’s teens, how one looks in high school is equally as important as it was when I was in school. Needless to say, peer pressure to conform has never gone out of style.  That is why I was so stunned when I heard about a few high school gals who had volunteered to shave their heads in support of some young children undergoing treatment.  To be female and bald is quite a commitment, as I have learned first hand. However, to be a female teen in high school and bald, where appearance is of great consequence, is hard for me to even comprehend.  This news was enough to bring tears to my eyes and goose bumps to my arms. But I wasn’t prepared for what I had heard next. 

What was so amazing is that these women chose to shave their heads, despite the fact that the St. Baldrick’s event was being held the DAY BEFORE PROM!  I know I could continue on for pages about what an amazingly selfless act this was.  But any gal who has ever attended prom, needs no words to profoundly understand the magnitude of this sacrifice.  A 12 hour drive to meet these angels seemed hardly a stretch.

I was beginning to feel a bit hopeful that there were at least a couple of today’s teens who had my old fashioned views about community involvement.  But once again, I was not prepared when my view of the modern day teen was completely obliterated.

The Woodland Park High School event, which was intended to be a token event, took on a life of its own when over 50 young men and women stepped out of the mold of tradition to make a bold statement.  Not one week before graduation, 6 gals, 10 teachers, and countless young men, some who had not seen a hair cut in 3+ years, showed that the youth of today is all about ensuring the health and welfare of our youth for tomorrow.  Mia copa for ever doubting you all and thank you for the much needed reality check.

To all the incredible shavees, shavers, volunteers and supporters, please know that it was truly an honor to be a part of this event.  I look forward to the 12 hour drive, once again, next year!

A special note to Kati:  You are such an amazing inspiration. You have, no doubt, planted a seed that will make an extraordinary impact.  You are truly an angel!  Congratulations on graduation and continue making a difference.

To Katie’s Family:  Thank you for taking me in and making a complete stranger feel like an old friend!

I have been blessed having attended a few of these events during my travels. Most recently, while in Texas I was present at an event in Austin, San Antonio and Dallas and had the pleasure of seeing over 200 heads shaved and over $200,000 raised. It is virtually impossible to articulate what these experiences are like. My best attempt was a response I gave to Andy Justice, a coordinator of the Dallas event, when he so aptly commented: “What an amazing experience it must be to attend all of these different events”. My reply was simple: “It never gets old”.

At Andy’s event, I was witness to the shaving of Dr. Naomi Winick, a pediatric oncologist from Children’s Hospital in Dallas. What made this head shaving particularly poignant was that Dr. Winick was shorn by a 28 year old woman who, at the tender age of 6, was treated for cancer by Dr. Winick! A 22 year survivor! But before one could revel in the awesome news of her amazing recovery, another woman stepped upon the stage to shave the good doctor’s head; this lady was the mother of a child, another patient of Dr. Winick’s, who was lost to cancer just a few weeks back.

These women are the not-so-subtle reminders as to why funding for pediatric cancer research is so necessary and why close to 60,000 people have shaved their heads to date to support this worthy cause.

 View pictures from the recent events:

Dell Children’s Clinic:  March 15th, Austin Texas

Mad Dog’s Pub:  March 15th, San Antonio Texas

Trinity Hall:  March 28th Dallas, Texas

It was about 11:30pm and Gary and I were enjoying a candle lit cocktail while enjoying the view of Sam Walton’s parking lot when all of a sudden Gary cried out:  “Oh my gosh!  There is a calf running around the parking lot”.  When I turned around, sure enough, there was a little black baby cow darting between the cars.  Being from mostly urban neighborhoods, this was certainly a sight to see.  But after a quick jaunt around, we assumed the little guy found his way home.   

About thirty minutes later, my eye was drawn away once again to see about four police cars pulling up and parking on the main drag.  Were we in a bad neighborhood? Was there a big drug bust? A reckless driver?   All of a sudden, from around the side of one of the tractor trailers emerged our baby cow followed by a mob of townspeople and law enforcement lumbering far behind.  This crazy collection of people were no match for this little grass eater. Had there been a funny man in a clown suit, I would have sworn we were at the rodeo. We had to go outside to get a better view.  This was definitely a sight to see at midnight in a Walmart parking lot. 

As we stepped out of the comforts of our rolling home we were greeted by two of the locals, a dwarf and a plump stocky man, both of whom had to look up to look me in the eyes.  One of the men broke out a hunk of chew and slipped his curved finger deep into the fold between his teeth and cheek.  He proceeded to talk in what I think was English, but all Gary and I could say in response was, “uh huh” as we could gather only a word or two from the entire conversation.  I think one was talking about “wrestling up the calf with his rope”, that he needless to say, did not have with him.  I was somewhat relieved to hear that as these guys made the men in Deliverance look like cosmopolitan metrosexuals.  The calf was spotted later across the street at the Wendy’s drive through!  I kid you not.  Perhaps the little lost sole was looking for his mother.

Needless to say, Gary and I had a great laugh and knew that, no matter how hard we tried to explain it…you had to really be there.  And I wish you were!

On New Years Eve, they announced that the top three resolutions were (1) quit smoking, (2) lose weight and (3) be a better person.  I can’t speak to the first two, but if you are one that falls into the “better person” category, perhaps the body of this email will give you a bit of inspiration as it did for me.

Be sure to read through to the end for an additional observation that I have added.

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: “When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?” 

The audience was stilled by the query. 

The father continued. “I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.” 

Then he told the following story: 

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, “Do you think they’ll let me play?”  Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps. Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.” 

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. 

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. 

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!”

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!”

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball … the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.  All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay” 

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third! Shay, run to third!” As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, “Shay, run home! Run home!” Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.  “That day”, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world”. Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!’ 

As a side note:  In this piece, the subject, the young disabled boy, is clearly and visibly disabled.  And I started to wonder…  Am I more willing to be generous with those that are visibly in need?  Would I be willing to make sacrifices if it were for someone else, like a friend, family member or coworker, someone who may not, on the surface, look as though they need help, but would be impacted immensely just the same if a good deed had been granted? Sadly, if I am honest, I am less willing to take one for the team unless it is painfully obvious that they are in need.  But perhaps a good deed, the smallest act, to anyone in our lives, can make a bigger difference…because we did it…for no reason at all.

This first introduction was in Cleveland, Ohio at an agent sales event.  I recall meeting Paul, the seemingly overzealous and optimistic guy that my husband would be working for.  I referred to him as “Mr. Happy” and, after our brief introduction, was fearful that we might be joining a cult.  But his enthusiasm was validated not a few short moments later when we were ushered into the ballroom of the hotel where a full press basketball court was set up in the middle of the room and children were swarming, laughing and playing while upbeat hip hop jock music blasted from the DJ’s speakers.  There were elaborate buffet tables set up with delectable foods lined from one end to the other and the children’s buffet table had the real delicacies that the adults secretly snuck like chicken fingers, pizza and oversized soft pretzels.  This was merely the “basketball party”, a precursor to the Cleveland Cavaliers Basketball game where over 500 agents and family members clamoured into our reserved section. This was one of many events that took place over the three days we were there, ending with a private party at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame where virtually every one of the 500 plus participants were dressed as their favorite rockers!   

It was clear that the company was successful and seeing the awards ceremony, bonus checks, stock dividends and other perks distributed, the wealth was obviously being shared with the agents. But as grand, fun, amazing and elaborate as the company was in taking care of its agents, it was the agents themselves that created the culture that, I can honestly say, I am honored to be a part of today!  It is a culture of care, integrity, family values and extreme generosity.  Family Heritage and its agents support dozens of different charitable organizations and when Howard Lewis, the president of the company, heard of what Gary and I were doing on the road to raise money and awareness for St. Baldrick’s, he voluntarily adopted yet another organization to support.  

At the Orlando Sales meeting on December 27th, 2007, where close to 300 agents and their family members gathered, 5 incredible people stood up from the crowd to shave their heads in a speedy but effective head shaving event that – within just 15 minutes…reared close to $15,000.00 dollars!  When the tears cleared away from my eyes enough to focus, I could see people enthusiastically jumping up and down like wack-a-moles to pledge their support to their favorite shavee.  While I have been told that I am fairly good with the written word, there are truly none that can be placed here to express the love, gratitude, and complete and total admiration that I feel for these 5 individuals and the agents and families that have, and continue to, support us.

And it is important to note, the culture of the company often comes from the one who sits at the top!  This awe inspiring culture of love and generosity is no surprise with Howard Lewis at the helm! 

On a personal note: 

Laura Linek:  You should work for Disney as a fairy princess!  Your efforts will most assuredly help to make many dreams comes true!
Peter Ferre:  Your quiet generosity does not go unnoticed!  Thank you for being a hero to kids with cancer
Les Perryman:  It was not enough that you sacrificed that gorgeous thick silver hair of yours! You had to also be the company’s top donor! 
Ken Matson:  Don’t grow it back!  You look hot!
Ryan Walker:  I’d tell you to not grow it back as well…but I suspect there is no hope for that.  Thanks for taking one for the team!
Paul Leahey:  Well Mr. Happy, as I write this I have tears in my eyes!  You were the biggest surprise of all!  I love ya, Man!       

Prior to selling all of our worldly possessions and embarking upon our “dream trip”, our days looked something like this:   

• Wake up
• Gary goes to work
• Deb goes into her home office to work in front of her computer
• Deb goes grocery shopping
• Gary comes home from work
• Deb cooks dinner
• Deb and Gary eat dinner
• Deb and Gary have a couple glasses of wine
• Deb and Gary watch CSI, CSI Miami or CSI NY
• Deb and Gary go to bed around 11:00.

 * Repeated Monday- Friday. Weekends were up for grabs. 

Then, Gary and I decided to live life outside the box (well, actually inside it) and voila, this is how it looks now:   

• Wake up
• Gary goes to work
• Deb goes into her home office (ie: kitchen table) to work in front of her computer
• Deb goes grocery shopping and stocks up for the week whenever she has a car
• Gary comes home from work
• Deb cooks dinner
• Deb and Gary eat dinner
• Deb and Gary have a couple glasses of wine
• Deb and Gary watch whatever the TV reception can get
• Deb and Gary go to bed around 11:00.

 * Repeated Monday- Friday. Weekends are up for grabs.
**Added bonus: Hours of hooking and unhooking wires, cords, hoses and cables every time we move. 

I never thought it would be possible, but somehow we have settled into our “whirlwind” cross-country trip in such a way that it sneakily resembles our lives before we hit the road:  mundane, routine and ordinary.  Are we such creatures of habit that we can turn something so extraordinary into ordinary?! 

How did this happen?  Is it our natural instinct to create routine and familiarity in our lives?  As exciting as cross-country travel could be, has consistency and predictability become more of a priority?  Although Gary and I are in the 4^th month of our trip, over 1/3 complete, we are still waiting for the trip to begin.  We are waiting patiently to realize the vision we had created prior to hitting the open road.  Are dreams always sweeter than reality?  

Please do not hear this as a complaint.  It is merely a simple but mind-boggling observation.  The trip has actually been an interesting collection of experiences and exposures.  And I am fully aware that it is within my own control to make this trip, or my life, regardless of what I am doing, extraordinary.  I just have to choose to do so!  But for now, it is a rainy Saturday, and I am going to join my hubby, who is taking an afternoon nap.  

When I was a kid, one of my favorite jokes was “what is black and white and re(a)d all over?” and the 10 different combination of answers that you could choose from ensuring that your guesser would always be wrong.  However my question of “What is Green and White and makes you smile all over?” is no joke.  So, what is the answer?  It is the most unbelievable gift bestowed upon Gary and me by the staff and kids at the Mission Children’s Hospital in Asheville, North Carolina. It is a home made poster dotted with tiny handprints and pictures of the many awe inspiring children who had, or are currently receiving treatment at the Center. 

The SuRVivor Tour’s mission is simple:  To “honor those on the road to recovery”.  Well, Mission turned the tables on us!  In a recent visit to the their Hospital, the children and staff honored us with this touching poster to thank both Gary and me  for what we were doing on the road to combat childhood cancer!   How can I possibly describe this honor with words?!  There is little that I have received that has meant more to me.  And, with that being said,  I also struggle to comprehend it.  Since the inception of the tour, we have received many gracious thanks for the “work we are doing”.   And, at times, it is hard to accept the compliments because I am just doing what I love.  Think about it. 

• If you had a chance to spend your days with beautiful, amazing, warmhearted children – wouldn’t you?
• If you had a chance to travel around the country and surround yourself with awesome people who have hearts of gold – wouldn’t you?
• If you had the chance to work with an organization that makes you feel like a superstar each and every day – wouldn’t you?
• If you had a chance to make a real difference in this world -wouldn’t you?

Circumstances, a bit of creativity and a supportive husband have allowed me to do all of these and more.  It just so happens that what I love to do, may also have the benefit of benefiting others.  So, to my new friends at Mission Reuter Children’s Center, I humbly accept this gift but want you all to know that the true honor is just having the chance to meet you!  

Click here to check out some pictures from the event.

On a personal note:   

Carla:  Happy Birthday!!  You will no doubt feel like a princess in the limo on your way to eat chicken Alfredo!  Save me a breadstick!  And keep that perfect record on the basketball court! 

Kyle:  You not only have great taste in hats, but your pick of receivers for fantasy football is second to none!  Randy Moss Rocks!  And so do you!    

Jayme, an alumni of UVA, and our local connection to St. Baldrick’s, established a SuRVivor Tour stop at the football game where we tailgated, toured the most beautiful campus and witnessed a true nail-biter against Wake Forest, a game decided in literally the last two seconds! UVA was victorious… and so was The SuRVivor Tour as we were visited during our tailgate session by two local TV stations who wanted to learn more about our adventures.

Click here for the channel 29 news report
Click here for the channel 19 news report 

Click here for some pictures of:
Shenandoah Region
Monticello

Speaking of cavalier efforts and extreme nail-biters, how ‘bout them New England Patriots! It will take me a week to fully recover from that Victory! Excuse me for talking “smack” for a moment, but – see you all at the Superbowl!

1.  Water saver:  Having little to no hair has made me more ecologically responsible. I timed it.  2 minutes and 58 seconds!  After shaving my head, that was my total shower time from the moment I turned on the water until I was wrapped in my fluffy cotton towel. Initially, the time was so radically short in comparison to my usual shower times, that I didn’t feel clean.  So, I washed my body twice – just to be on the safe side.   Hugging trees is so passé.  Instead, shave a head! 

2: Shirt Saver:  My morning customs are fairly routine.  And, like a lot of women I know, getting dressed is the last item on the long list of my preparatory rituals.  Using this particular order, I am faced with pulling my shirt over an already nicely coiffed head.  So as not to muss my hair, I would have to stretch and contort the neck hole in such a way so that I could fit my head AND hair through it.  Despite this acrobatic stunt, I would still be faced with fixing some part of my hair that inevitably got squished in the process.   In addition, if the top was made of any fabric aside from 100% lycra, it would sag and gap at the neck.  No more.  I can pull shirts over my head with confidence.  Even turtlenecks!   

3.  Nap without getting nabbed:  I love napping…always have!  However, working 12 plus hours a day made it virtually impossible to exercise that luxury in the past.  But alas, on our trip, this is no longer an issue.  Instead, my concern is guilt.  Since the start of this trip, Gary has been the sole bread winner. Needless to say, this has taken some getting used to as I am a fiercely independent woman.  While napping is a very natural human activity, I can not seem to get past the guilt I feel since he is out working hard while I am taking an afternoon siesta.  So, if I chose to nap during the day, I can do so and not leave a single trace of bed head as evidence. In my previous life, my hair would mat down on one side and stick up in the back leaving visible signs of betrayal.  Now I can nap without the guilt…well, without being caught.  But I still need to work on those pesky bed sheet lines  

4:  Wind proof:  Our trip recently took a slight detour and we ended up driving back though the Windy City.  Although Chicago got its nick-name from the resident long-winded politicians of yesteryear, I have still always found the city to be a rather drafty one.  On this particular day, I had noticed that most people’s hair was whipping wildly, dancing in the air as it swirled perilously.  But I could walk, without worry, knowing that not a single strand was out of place.  Frankly, there is no wind strong enough to have any impact on my hair.  Because of this, people humor themselves whenever I sit in the back seat of their car.  Invariably they always ask:  “Do you mind if I roll down my window?  I wouldn’t want to mess up your hair.”  Huh…funny.  But admittedly, while sitting in the backseat of a car with an open window, I can not begin to tell you how many times I had been blinded by my hair whipping into my eyes or had eaten a chunk of it as the wind skillfully maneuvered it into my mouth as I was speaking. No more! 

5:  Water proof:  Recently, I had been invited out on a friend’s boat for an afternoon jaunt.  As I had lived in a Marina community for most of my adult life, this was something I had done previously on numerous occasions.  But this day was different.  It wasn’t until this moment when I had realized how often I had held back from playing in the water, purposely avoiding getting my hair wet so I did not have to suffer the ugly consequences that would follow as it air dried. No more. This time I dove right in and playfully slapped water back and forth, living life unencumbered by the threat of bad hair. 

6:  Helmet head proof:   Gary has the car most days which leaves me stranded in the RV. In an effort to gain more mobility I recently purchased a Yamaha Zuma scooter as my mode of transportation.  Of course being a “safety first” kind of person, I also purchased a DOT approved helmet that feels like I am sporting a tiny pressure chamber on my head.  Having been a Harley Chick many moons ago, I know that helmet head is virtually unfixable.  But now, I need not even double check my appearance in the little round side mirrors of my Zuma. I whip off my pressure chamber, tuck it under my arm and head on my way with the utmost confidence that not a strand has been moved.   

7:  Evening out proof:   I was having a clothing crisis for the first time since beginning our trip. Needless to say, when living in campgrounds in small towns around the country, there is little to no need to fancy oneself up.  However, recently, I had a chance to visit with a girlfriend of mine, Tracy, for a fun filled girl’s-night-out.  I must have changed my outfit no less than ten times, yanking and pulling the various dresses, shirts, and blouses over my head.  But even with all of this, my hair (or whatever you care to call what I currently have) remained steadfast.   And not a single fly-away!   

8:  Shopping spree proof:  Just like being evening out proof, my hair also stands up to clothes shopping.  Ok ladies, admit it!  Hair never outlasts a shopping spree.  But mine does now! 

9:  He loves me:  Probably the best thing about not having hair is that it proves that my husband’s love for me is truly blind.  While I appreciate all the kind (and perhaps overly gratuitous) compliments about how I can carry this look, no one has made me feel more beautiful than Gary. He can not hold my hand fast enough as we walk down the street together or gaze into my eyes long enough as though he is looking into the face of a supermodel.  I never thought I would feel MORE beautiful being bald…but I do.  Thanks, Gary!  

To make her situation even more extraordinary, she was anticipating that others would be along side of her as she shed her locks.  But as in life, things don’t always work out as planned, and circumstances were such that she was left solo in her endeavors.  Instead of backing down in a situation where most likely would,  she stood firm in her conviction to make a difference and will be moving forward as planned this Saturday evening.

Of her own admission, her friends and family think she is crazy.  And I can certainly empathize with her receiving these reactions as I too, was a recipient of the same sentiments.  One of my dearest friends had sheepishly shared with me that “she feels partially defined by her hair.”  If this is the general consensus, I can certainly see why so many find it perplexing to forgo something we think is so vital in the shaping of who we are.  While I do not wish to downplay the importance of the role that our hair plays in our society today, I pledge that it is time that we find other ways to define ourselves.  I would much rather see us define ourselves by our heart, our courage, our love and our strength versus our skin, our hair, our body, our height, our clothes, our car, our house or our salary.

Whether or not you know me or Crystal; whether you stumbled across this website by accident or have been here a thousand times, I ask that you join me in showing your support to this true champion by sharing an encouraging sentiment on this blog entry.  While Crystal is admittedly anxious about her decision, and understandably so, I would love to see our community rally around her and show her that we all define her by her conviction and heart – making her a true hero!